Because I'm scared.
I've faced the fires of passion
And I've been burned.
Because I've waited and waited
And I get so tired of playing pretend
Like this is some kind of game to you.
And I hope that somehow this will be different
But that nagging fear remains in the back of my head.
Will it?
Currently Reading...
CURRENTLY READING
East of Eden by John Steinbeck
Harry Potter y la Piedra Filosofal by J.K. Rowling
Skeleton Key by Stephen King
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Friday, October 10, 2014
Sweet Dreams
How do I even write shit. Here goes me trying to write something for the first time in forever.
The autumn wind blew hard that day; leaves fell off the trees and flew past me, my hair danced wildly. My shirt sleeve rolled down, and I pushed it up past my elbows again. I found shelter in the building my class in, my heart began beating faster and faster. I knew I would see you.
Your class got out, the one before mine. Whatever language class that was, but you walked out, talking to a classmate in some foreign language I didn't recognize, and laughed. I waited outside the door. Your face lit up when you saw me; metaphorical doves took flight. We hugged. I felt your warm body against mine and my heart swelled. I was the first to pull back, out of respect. One...two... steps you took back, and a soft smile filled the corners of your face. I returned it with my awkward half-grin. You were wearing a beautiful plaid skirt with matching stockings to battle the slowly approaching winter's bite. Your shirt loudly advertised the fact that you saw some obscure band I'd never heard of at some hole-in-the-wall bar.
That's one thing I loved about her, she always had new music to show me. It didn't matter if it was two in the morning and I was furiously slamming on the fragile keys of my laptop to finish some essay for Biology on a topic I'd learned solely about on Wikipedia, suddenly your name would light my phone in the darkness and, next thing you know, I'm rocking out to the next new indie-electronic-pop-hardcore-rock album you found.
"Hey, would you like to get some coffee?"
I'm getting off track.
"Hello? Stop staring off like some sort of zombie." you said, poking me in the stomach.
I shook my head and focused back on her. "I'm sorry, what?" I asked you.
"It's cold out, you wanna go out with me and get some coffee?" you said again, your smile growing larger.
My classmates brushed past me, my class only minutes from starting. I had made this decision when I saw you though.
"Sure, who needs Spanish anyways?" I laughed and we walked out together. I held the door open, and we walked back out into the cold autumn air.
"You look really nice today, I thought I'd let you know." you told me. I fixed my tie, looked to my feet, and grinned. She adored how I dressed, finding the way I carefully crafted my ties and sweaters and shirts and everything else in a way that looked equally formal and casual. The white of my dress-shirt pleasantly contrasted the dark-gray sweater vest I wore, accented perfectly by my black tie. Meanwhile my brown belt and shoes added an autumn feel that matched my hair. You would of thought I planned this stuff, but trust me, I just throw stuff on. Maybe four years of graphic design led me to always subconsciously think about color theory.
A crisp breeze settled in. You shivered. I wrapped my arm around your waist and brought you close. Maybe it was to keep you warm, but we both know why I really did it. You smiled slightly. We walked in a comfortable silence. We didn't need words to enjoy each other's company.
We reached the coffee shop and stood in line to order.
"What do you want? I'll pay for whatever you want." I told her.
"No you don't have to do that..." you said humbly.
I interrupted, "No seriously, it's completely fine, I just got paid." You finally gave in and told me her order. I talked with the barista for a moment and ordered our drinks. You found a booth to sit at and idly toyed with your phone. I brought you your drink and sat across from you. We looked in each other's eyes like a moment from a cheap romance movie. I did a great job of ruining the moment by spilling hot coffee on my lap. You tried to stop yourself from laughing, doing all you could to try and not embarrass me. I wouldn't have minded either way.
You scooted over towards me and rested your head on my shoulder. Your hair smelled like that flowery shampoo you use and pumpkin. We sat together and drank our coffee, as if nothing in the world could bother us right here in this moment.
It wasn't long before we finished. I took your empty cup and threw it away, and then grabbed your hand and we walked outside together.
"That was nice." you said to me. I turned towards you,
"Maybe we can do a movie or something at my place next week." I replied. You giggled and nodded "That'd be wonderful."
I hugged you a little longer this time. You looked at me after we finished, a look of longing and passion and happiness. I knew. I leaned in. I kissed you. The wind blew my hair out of place, but I didn't care anymore.
"I'll see you next time." I said and smiled again.
Then I woke up.
(Word Count: 865 words)
The autumn wind blew hard that day; leaves fell off the trees and flew past me, my hair danced wildly. My shirt sleeve rolled down, and I pushed it up past my elbows again. I found shelter in the building my class in, my heart began beating faster and faster. I knew I would see you.
Your class got out, the one before mine. Whatever language class that was, but you walked out, talking to a classmate in some foreign language I didn't recognize, and laughed. I waited outside the door. Your face lit up when you saw me; metaphorical doves took flight. We hugged. I felt your warm body against mine and my heart swelled. I was the first to pull back, out of respect. One...two... steps you took back, and a soft smile filled the corners of your face. I returned it with my awkward half-grin. You were wearing a beautiful plaid skirt with matching stockings to battle the slowly approaching winter's bite. Your shirt loudly advertised the fact that you saw some obscure band I'd never heard of at some hole-in-the-wall bar.
That's one thing I loved about her, she always had new music to show me. It didn't matter if it was two in the morning and I was furiously slamming on the fragile keys of my laptop to finish some essay for Biology on a topic I'd learned solely about on Wikipedia, suddenly your name would light my phone in the darkness and, next thing you know, I'm rocking out to the next new indie-electronic-pop-hardcore-rock album you found.
"Hey, would you like to get some coffee?"
I'm getting off track.
"Hello? Stop staring off like some sort of zombie." you said, poking me in the stomach.
I shook my head and focused back on her. "I'm sorry, what?" I asked you.
"It's cold out, you wanna go out with me and get some coffee?" you said again, your smile growing larger.
My classmates brushed past me, my class only minutes from starting. I had made this decision when I saw you though.
"Sure, who needs Spanish anyways?" I laughed and we walked out together. I held the door open, and we walked back out into the cold autumn air.
"You look really nice today, I thought I'd let you know." you told me. I fixed my tie, looked to my feet, and grinned. She adored how I dressed, finding the way I carefully crafted my ties and sweaters and shirts and everything else in a way that looked equally formal and casual. The white of my dress-shirt pleasantly contrasted the dark-gray sweater vest I wore, accented perfectly by my black tie. Meanwhile my brown belt and shoes added an autumn feel that matched my hair. You would of thought I planned this stuff, but trust me, I just throw stuff on. Maybe four years of graphic design led me to always subconsciously think about color theory.
A crisp breeze settled in. You shivered. I wrapped my arm around your waist and brought you close. Maybe it was to keep you warm, but we both know why I really did it. You smiled slightly. We walked in a comfortable silence. We didn't need words to enjoy each other's company.
We reached the coffee shop and stood in line to order.
"What do you want? I'll pay for whatever you want." I told her.
"No you don't have to do that..." you said humbly.
I interrupted, "No seriously, it's completely fine, I just got paid." You finally gave in and told me her order. I talked with the barista for a moment and ordered our drinks. You found a booth to sit at and idly toyed with your phone. I brought you your drink and sat across from you. We looked in each other's eyes like a moment from a cheap romance movie. I did a great job of ruining the moment by spilling hot coffee on my lap. You tried to stop yourself from laughing, doing all you could to try and not embarrass me. I wouldn't have minded either way.
You scooted over towards me and rested your head on my shoulder. Your hair smelled like that flowery shampoo you use and pumpkin. We sat together and drank our coffee, as if nothing in the world could bother us right here in this moment.
It wasn't long before we finished. I took your empty cup and threw it away, and then grabbed your hand and we walked outside together.
"That was nice." you said to me. I turned towards you,
"Maybe we can do a movie or something at my place next week." I replied. You giggled and nodded "That'd be wonderful."
I hugged you a little longer this time. You looked at me after we finished, a look of longing and passion and happiness. I knew. I leaned in. I kissed you. The wind blew my hair out of place, but I didn't care anymore.
"I'll see you next time." I said and smiled again.
Then I woke up.
(Word Count: 865 words)
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