Doing That College Thing (Otherwise Known as Scholarships)

     Well, I've been doin' that college thang. We were given an assignment in my English class to write for a scholarship a 300 word essay about our career and education plans, as well as how our current situation, including our skills, personality, and experiences, applies to that.

     I've almost done that.

     I have spent the last... Hour and a half trying to write this stupid thing. My first draft --which was a wonderful metaphor that weaved my voice in and out of my essay, informing in an alluring manner what my passion was, which would definitely have been a Grade-A essay-- ended up being somewhere closer to 400 words. That just won't do.

     So I cut out the flowery metaphor. My paper was a lot more... boring, but it was also shorter.
     Final result? A 303 word essay. At this point I really just want to be done with it, but I am three words off from completion. Right now I really can't figure out what I want to get rid of. Since this was the "first draft" of this essay (in the most basic sense of the phrase), I think I'll be able to let it slide.

     Now I just have to get it to my teacher and talk to him about what I need to do to fix up my three-word dilemna. I'll have him look at it, maybe find a few words, and maybe find a way to make it even better. Because free money.

     Anyways, here's what my essay looks like...

            Have you ever wanted to be a teacher? Not many can say that they want to tackle the challenge of interacting daily with students, parents, or teachers, or to scale the mountain of massive workload that is often thrust upon them, or more importantly, to teach a future generation of students and shape a better world. One of my career plans that took shape and was sculpted into a beautiful possibility during my high school experience was the dream of being a teacher. It isn’t just the thought of wanting to be a teacher that made this goal a possibility though; it was the combination of my personality, my strengths and weaknesses, and the occurrences I have embraced that creates this possibility.
             Teaching is a career in which I can use the confidence and social skills I have, and apply them to a real world situation where I can change lives. What other careers require you to undertake the role of cooperating with thousands of people, all while maintaining a positive demeanor? Yet my personality is only a single link that chains together success in this career. I also have a passion.
            This passion is of literature and English. Ever since I was a child, I’ve always been a book-worm. Throughout my teen years, I consumed books more often than I did food. I was once told that it takes passion to be successful at anything. A passion for this subject is just what I need to be inspired to pursue it.
            Finally, the events and occurrences that have surrounded me throughout my life; the teachers and heroes who inspire me to do better, stand out as the most important aspect to this career. I felt inspired, because the same traits I see in myself are so prevalent in the teachers who have already made the decision to shape the future, by shaping young minds to be smart, creative, and thoughtful.
            So do I have what it takes to be a teacher? I have the passion, the knowledge, the personality, and the experiences. All that is left is for me to take the leap to shape my future, as well as the worlds.

     Well that's all I got for you guys today. Enjoy your nights and good luck with all your toils and foils.

Hobey ho,

 -- Nate

(Word Count: 649 words)

Procrastination 101

     So I'm sure we're all amazing high school students, who turn on their work on time and ensure ourselves an amazing future. No? Perhaps you forget to turn something in every once in a while. Perhaps that new popular app is begging to be played. Perhaps there is a million other reasons that we aren't doing something. I believe we all have the potential to be that "amazing high school student."
     I know what is stopping me though...
     Procrastination.
     I'm sure many of us battle this... thing. We see the overwhelming Work Monster (probably looks something like this) and suddenly we're a little moist at the waist and are running towards the nearest exit. From that exit, we find the bliss of procrastination...! Suddenly even the most boring task sounds fun and we tell ourselves that we will have time to finish. Usually we don't. I'll spend six hours watching a new Netflix interest, or playing some of those new games I find online, or making food to make myself not hungry even though I never really was. Sometimes, I even clean the house.
     It's these demons that are the toughest to kill. Today, while telling myself I was gonna get on homework, I went and browsed through my Tumblr and Facebook feed. I've got a sticky note on my right that is telling me all the important work I need to get done today. Ha. Hahaha. So whilst browsing through this feed, one of my friends shared an article about Procrastination.
     "Hey! This will be a good thing to read rather than reading Frankenstein! Lets do that!" I told myself. I assume you can understand the irony of this situation. So I read it, and it was actually pretty cool (if you're interested, you can read Part 1 here, and Part 2 here). That post is actually the inspiration I had to writing this blog post today. It explained procrastination in a way that really helped rationalize the situation; it explained ways to combat it. The post was light-hearted but serious, so I felt as if the writer had a clear understanding on the subject (and spent some time thinking about it, rather than just throwing thoughts out there as I usually do in my blog posts).
     Well, I don't have much else to share with you guys today. I wanted to share this post, and that it could possibly bring you a beacon of hope that you can get over it. I'm overwhelmed and worried about my own problems, and that it will cause many more issues in college. So I'm gonna try to tackle it, one step at a time.

Hobey ho,
-- Nate


(Word count: 451 words)

Ugh... Frankenstein.

     Lets just start this off with... I hate "journal" type books. I can't stand them. Maybe it's just cause I am so used to the action packed straight-to-the-point sort of books, or what ever other reasons there may be, but I can't stand these types of books.
     For our AP Literature class, we are reading Frankenstein. When we were told it was an epistolary, I gave a reluctant sigh and claimed that I was gonna dislike this book. I already do. Our teacher tried to convince me that I would like this book (mostly by telling me I was wrong), but I knew I was gonna hate it anyways.
     Those of you who have been on my blog since Day 1 may have seen my post about Jules Verne's novel 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. This book is written in the same way that Frankenstein supposedly is, and I suffered through trying to read it. Here's a quick recap of that review though. I somewhat liked the book, although it was dry the entire time except for a few good moments that the action picked up. Besides that, it felt like a scientific review of the various plants and animals that existed in the ocean written in a log of observation. It makes sense, seeing how Arronax is literally an aquatic scientist on a mysterious new submarine; who wouldn't record everything they see in that situation? Still, I disliked the book.
     Moving on, I read the first... Fifty or so pages of Frankenstein today. It managed to somewhat hold my interest throughout thus far, but I will not lie, I glazed over a few parts. It's so hard to keep focused when all the book is describing is some second-hand story recorded in a letter to this guy's sister about how a Russian woman and some other guy fell in love but it didn't work out. Snore.
     Once the book got out of the "letters" portion (which was the first four "chapters" of the book) it got somewhat interesting. Only somewhat. Thus far, we are only seeing Frankenstein reminisce about his childhood, but Shelley is also revealing how the good Doctor became interested in the science of creating life. An older friend told me this weekend that the book does get better, it's just slow in the beginning. So here's to hoping that they're right. Otherwise I feel like I am just gonna slowly drag on through this book and suffer the entire time.
     So far, I really want to know the relevance of the first few letters in the book. Who was the man that was travelling around? Striving to explore the great unknowns of the northern pole? Is this just a random sub-plot? Or will it tie in eventually? At this point in the book, I don't know yet. Guess we'll find out, right?

Hobey ho,
-- Nate


(Word Count: 485 words)

Well Shoot, You're Friggin' Hilarious.

     Well today I was the butt end of a very cruel joke. Felt like sharing this with you all tonight.
     Some students at my school thought it would be the cat's meow to go and give my number to my history teacher, who would then proceed to tell me that all my homework due Friday would now be due Thursday because I was going to be absent on Friday.
     I'll give you some background real quick. The college here is doing a huge day-long tour of the campus. You can talk with the students, see what the campus is like, check out the housing, and get info in areas where you are most interested in majoring. This college is the most real possibility for me at the moment; my friends are all going, it's extremely affordable, the campus is nice. A whole shebacle of useful things. I really wanted to go the campus at the end of the week to seal the deal and know for sure if this is where I wanted to go. But is it really worth missing school for? Not really. Is it necessary? Yes.
     Back to the story. So I was told at 6:30pm that my homework is due tomorrow (Thursday) rather than Friday or whenever I get back. Well that's just fudgemuffin wonderful. So I spend the next hour working on some pretty boring questions that I have to do, and messaging the rest of the people in my group about helping me out so I don't fail this class (I already have a low B, I do not need another C).
     Well someone on facebook immediately fessed up to what happened and let me know. At this point, I was pretty furious. I'd already gotten half the work done and now I am being told that I had wasted my time. I worked a little more, waiting for a response from the other person who I was told was also involved in this. That took another hour.
     When this other person finally got back to me, she acted innocent, like nothing happened. She advised me to not do my homework, which was already mostly done, and that something strange was happening.
     How about you tell me something I don't know.
     So I went along with it, wanting to see how long they were gonna try to play this game. At this point, I was frustrated beyond belief. I had wasted half my night and most of my free time freaking out about this stupid homework, while also looking forward to the large stack of homework I had despite this stupid Government stuff. A pile of English reading, a blog post (oh look how nifty), and the ever increasing pile of work I have to do for Journalism. I went out and I took a nice thirty minute run to wherever the end of the street took me and back. She finally called me up and told me it was a joke.
     How about you tell me something I don't know.
     So now here I am, nine o' clock at night working my ascot off to get my English and Journalism homework done. I may not even get any sleep tonight, seeing how I think this will all be done by two. Might as well just stay up the next three hours filling out scholarships cause my mom won't stop pestering me about THAT.
     Here's the point of this post.
     Good prank. You're fricken hilarious. I really appreciate you adding to the mountain of stress which I already have to climb. So I appreciate you making that challenge a little harder.
     What goes around comes around.

(Word count: 613 words)

Act 5 Analysis - Hamlet (and Stuff)

Oops look who's feeling kind of lazy.
Here is the second draft of my expanded analysis of Act 5 in Shakespeare's play Hamlet, Prince of Denmark.

            In his play Hamlet, the Prince of Denmark, Shakespeare develops a connection between the loss of innocence that we all face as we carry on through our lives and the same loss of innocence that Hamlet experiences when confronted with his deceased childhood jester, Yorick. While formulating this scenario, Shakespeare also furthers the plot of the play to escalate the action and prepare the reader for the final exposition.

            Throughout the play, it is evident that Hamlet has a sort of childlike innocence surrounding him; he falls madly in love, and then casts the same love away; he speaks in riddle and rhyme, and acts in unusual manners. Hamlet has nothing on his mind, aside from the revenge he vowed to take against Claudius for the murder of his father. Hamlet does not accept that his actions will result in unnecessary consequences which aren’t revealed until the final scene of the play. It isn’t until the penultimate scene in which Hamlet’s composure is finally torn down and he realizes that death is cruel and unfair journey; one he realizes he must eventually take. The “gambols and songs and flashes of merriment that were wont to set the table on a roar” that once pleased Hamlet are all but gone, with only a jawless “chapfall’n” skull to prove Yorick’s existence.

            Hamlet wants to share this knowledge with his “lady”, which is implied through the text to be Ophelia. Shakespeare used this entire scene to try to share with his audience the concept of how innocence may be lost. Thousands of situations arise, but it is in that moment, in the face of death, that acts as the breaking point for many people. It is until this point that Hamlet believes his jape to be nothing but child’s play. With his façade finally shattered, he faces the realization that his actions will have, and already had consequences.

           Loss of innocence is a theme that Shakespeare likes to connect into many of his plays. It’s a reminder that eventually, everybody dies; Hamlet’s realization of this subsequently leads to the tragedy, and eventually his death, that occurs in the final act of the play.

That was easy.
So small little blurb cause I feel bad.
I had an okay day today, it was gray and overcast. It sort of made me melancholic and... I dunno. I felt neutral. Some things were said on the bus to me that didn't make me too happy, but I guess I got over it quickly enough.
Some times it's hard to make yourself believe you are cared about. I feel that sometimes I am worth not even an ounce of effort to some people, and I get in these huge internal debates about what sort of impact I am making on that person. I dunno. Anyways, that's my little blurb. Skills Leadership Meeting this week, which should be fun.

Hobey Ho,
--Nate

(Word Count: 523 words)

Angst, Anxiety and As-

-sho... Well you get the point.
     Man has this been a fun week. I hardly even have the patience to write this blog post because of how fun it has been.
     Oops. Is my sarcasm showing again? Sorry I try to hide that. Doesn't always work out. Whatever.
     But boy has it been a fun week, I mean with all this joyful college fair stuff? My family has been a huge bundle of fun. On top of them telling me the best I can do is drop out of high school (oh but it was "sarcastic" they say. Mhm that's the first thing on my list of things I really wanted to hear right now THANKS), I have to worry about somehow paying the funds to actually get into college, and get a good education. I guess it's either that or being a bank teller or something as equally stupid.
     This week has been a huge debate of whether AP classes and similar varieties of education are worth it. I mean, I've been told and told AND TOLD to challenge myself but the more I think about it the more I wonder WHAT WAS THE FREAKING POINT?
     "Oh you are paying $90 now to save $1,000 later! It will be worth--"
     Let me stop you right there. There are SO many things wrong with this statement.
     Lets start on the AP test. Sure. So I'm paying $90 for a test I am not even sure I am going to pass, and some colleges don't even exempt you from a class with a 3 on the stupid thing. Well, there goes $1,090 down the drain.
     Next, lets just look at the type of student I am. I will admit, I am not the most motivated student. I am above average, but I am not the best. "Challenging" myself by taking these AP classes really does nothing for me. I get a B or sometimes a C in the class, which has no benefit. Sure, I passed my two classes last year, but at what cost? Lets take a look.
     UNR will give you $5,000 a year if you can get a 3.5 UNWEIGHTED GPA in your core classes; English, Science, Social Science, and Math. Hmm, it seems our school only offers AP courses in these subjects! How useful. As I stated earlier, my GPA gets hit pretty hard by the fact that I take AP classes. My core average runs about a 3.1. So $5,000 gone. The Silver-and-Blue scholarship ($2,500) is for a 3.3 unweighted GPA in all classes and a nigh perfect score on the ACT/SAT. A 3.4 GPA puts you at a next-to-perfect or a nigh-perfect ACT/SAT score. My unweighted total GPA? 3.3/3.4. So I gotta shoot for am ALMOST PERFECT ACT or SAT score (of which, for your information, I will not be taking until December. Thanks padres. Like I had $80 to spend on these stupid tests).  So you see my problem? The next level of scholarship is the Nevada Pride level. At this point, I have a pretty wide range of test scores and GPAs to get this one. This scholarship is the one I will most likely be getting. $1,500 a year. Woo. So why am I bitter?
     Cause it's unfair. I'm gonna be saving only $600 on college courses thus far (my 3 on the APUSH exam doesn't count unless I got a four). I have this strong STRONG belief that if I had taken normal classes rather than AP/Honors, my GPA would benefit. By that, I probably could have hit 3.5 and gotten the $5,000 Presidential. So $600 taken off the first year cause my lousy 3 on the AP English exam gets me three credits, then I am saving -$19,400. Whoa, that's a nice number. If I pass all my exams this year, then it only puts me up $2,000. I am still down by over seventeen-thousand dollars. See where my problem lies?
     So my question I pose to you my dear friends, is what is the point of working so hard? Sure, I challenge myself, but my grade does the suffering. And by my grade suffering, I am gonna have a lot harder of a time getting through college. If I can't get through college, then ALL that hard work was wasted as the credits are naught. For me, this is a losing battle.
     A losing battle that at this moment causes a lot of anxiety, a lot of angst, and seems to be making everyone a bit of an asshole.

(Word count: 781 words)

Books, Books, Books. (A Game of Plots and Kings)

     Hello everyone. Uh... A long, ramble-y post about books. Worth a read I think, but bear with me and it might be useful? I don't know. You might find humor, a new read, or something useful out of this. Just a warning before hand.
     So, after an extensive time reading, I just finished reading A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin. A large, mammoth of a book sporting over 800 pages and words printed small enough to make me squint even with reading glasses on. To be frank though, it was really good. The main characters that the story was focused around had me very engaged and attached, the plot was dynamic and filled with some good twists and surprises, and the overall story was well composed and the continuity was spectacular for a novel of such length.
     The whole time I read it, I had felt attached to almost every character, and it was almost impossible for me to point at a House and claim "They are the bad guys!" because it felt like they all had perfectly good reasons for their actions, at least most of the time.
     Except this smug jerk. This guy, and most of the House Lannister can go find a nice deep dark hole to die in.
     Moving on...
     I overall extremely liked the book, and I can't wait to read the next one. I have to watch the series too, at least the first season, seeing how much of it won't exactly be spoiled as I already finished the first book. With all the characters in the book (I'm telling you, there were at least fifty) it was really hard to try to imagine what most of them would look like. The show should really help put a face to the names. One problem arises before I move on to the next novel though...
     I have a book problem. Some people are addicted to drugs, others to hugs, others to mugs and glugs, some weirdos like slugs. But me? I can't stop reading. I have visited the library several times in the past few weeks and every time I've gone, I have picked up two or three books that interest me. How can I even start new books when they keep piling up?! Oh well, I'll get to everything eventually!
     So far I got some easy books as well as a couple of harder books lined up. Two children novels; one from one of my favorite author(s) Chris Riddell and Paul Stewart. It's a short thing, illustrated and fun. Nothing too serious.
     Then I've got another kid's novel; it's a small science-fiction novel that I read many many moons ago. It's called When the Tripods Came. The concept was really interesting to me when I read it (basically these Tripod rulers come, brainwash the world, and enslaves the whole human race) who knows how many years ago, and I want to read it just to refresh what the book is about. You know, to figure out what the whole idea actually means, and since my brain has matured far more than it did when I was younger, it should be more interesting.
     Then I got another Ray Bradbury book, The Illustrated Man. One of my posts recently discussed how I felt about him as an author, and I have been meaning to read more of his works. I eventually want to get to re-reading The Martian Chronicles, which I read as a freshman. I want to tackle it again now that I have a better understanding of how Bradbury succeeds as a writer.
     Finally, I got a collection of short horror stories, just in time for Halloween. The collection is a bunch of writing that H.P. Lovecraft did in his years. If you aren't familiar with this author, he wrote a ton of horror/scary/terrifying things; but scary in a sort of psychosis, mind-numbing, "you're going insane because the ancient distorted beings from the furthest ring willed it" way. One example is his fictional universe in which he created The Elder Gods (such as Cthulhu) which gained notoriety for it's uniqueness, and blossomed to a large following, especially on the internet. The non-voters of 2012 even ran this Cthulhu guy as a satirical presidential candidate. The thing that sort of got me interested is a novel I read around two years ago? I was a sophomore I believe. It's called House of Leaves and it is written by Mark Z. Danielewski, which I think was inspired by Lovecraftian horror (this Lovecraft guy was so popular he even inspired an entire genre). There's even a pretty interesting podcast which is inspired by Lovecraft horror.
     Past that, I am reading the Book Thief for the Book Club at our school (which I guess is not about a magical world in which a mysterious wizard is stealing books and causing some sort of destruction by doing so... Oops.), and past that, I think I am going to try to read the next A Song of Ice and Fire book (aka Game of Thrones). Further down the line, I plan another re-read of The Martian Chronicles, as I said earlier; a re-read of the Edge Chronicles series, which I have a deep love for due to it's hardcore fantasy/steampunk setting; and possibly another re-read of A House of Leaves, which is one of my favorite "weird" novels. Antique. Whatever you wanna call it. And this is just the planned stuff, who knows what kind of treasures I will find down the road at my subsequent visits to the library. I'm not even going to start counting all the awesome stuff I manage to find at Grassroots and various thrift shops. I walked out last week with ten new books... You should really take a look at my now-overflowing bookshelf.
     Well, for those of you who stuck through my rambling about books, good job. I think I threw out a ton of good suggestions for anyone who is looking to read a new book, which is something I have been asked to do by several of my friends. Guess I can direct them here now! But if you have any other suggestions as well, let me know. I'm pretty open to just about everything.
     Thanks for sticking through with my ramblings.
     Good night viewers. Good night.

(Word Count: 1068 words)

Taking a Break

     You know, for the past few days I have been trying and trying to figure out what I want to do for this blog post. I had a couple of different approaches too. Do I write about how many scholarships I did or didn’t do? Do I write about where I went to prepare? Do I write about what homework I did?

     I finally settled for this approach. What did I do over this short one-week break to prepare for college? Well, I gave myself a break. Sure, I tried one or two scholarships and I went to some UNR Fall Preview thing, but I really didn’t even feel like doing those. School has been rough for me these past few weeks, and this quarter. I don’t feel like I am ready to tackle being a real adult, with a job and college and everything else that goes with it. If it was up to me, I would be a high school student forever…

     But that really can’t be the case. By the end of the week before we went off, I was so overwhelmed that I nearly gave up everything in frustration. The break we had? It soothed my nerves. It settled my anxiety. It made me calm enough to focus on what I needed, and what my responsibilities were.

     So a lot of other kids may say “Oh yeah I like totally signed up for like fifty scholarships and sent out like a hundred scholarships! [sic]” but I sat back, watched a little television and chilled out in my PJs for half a week. I went to Sacramento and got some materials for a couple projects I had been meaning to work on. I read a couple books and dived into the depths of my imagination. I did exactly what the break was intended for.

     Took a break.

     So now it’s time to push through until Winter Break. The extended three weeks is going to be really nice, and I have a trip to Pasadena that I am really looking forward to. But I gotta focus on my school work and other related responsibilities first.
     Hobey ho.

(Word Count: 363 words)

A Conflict of Interests: The Battle for Who Writes Better

     "WELCOME TO THE RING!" the announcer hollers. All around him, screaming fans hold signs that professes their love and admiration for their favorite competitor. Popcorn and drinks litter the floor of the stadium and the air conditioner hums loudly to cancel out the heat of the moment. The tension is like a fire.

     "IN THIS CORNER, WE HAVE THE RED COMPETITOR! HE LIKES TO HEAT THINGS UP, TOSSING BOOKS IN A FIRE AND SENDING PEOPLE TO MARS FOR FUN. WELCOME! RAY BRADBURY!"

     A middle aged man dressed in a leotard that seems a size too small for him steps from the shadows in the red corner and into the light. He adjusts his glasses and puts his fists up in a cliché "put-em-up" manner.

     "AND IN THIS CORNER, WE HAVE THE BLUE COMPETITOR. WHETHER IT'S SONNETS DISCREDITING PERFECTION OR TRAGEDIES TO GET TO YOUR HEART THIS MAN HAS YOU COVERED. WELCOME! WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE!"

     William runs towards the ring, dressed in some kind of silly bard's outfit and a majestic cape. A cameraman runs besides him recording the action, zooming in on the decorative knuckles he is accessorized with. On one hand, it spells "BILLY" and on the other, "SHAKE." His cape slinks off his shoulders and he hands his knuckles to an assistant. He jumps back and forth, pumped for the fight.

     "Welcome gentlemen. I want a clean fight from both of you. Whoever wins will decide WHO. IS. THE. BETTER. WRIIITTTEEERRRRR." The crowd goes wild, screaming as the tension grows larger and larger. The two competitors bump their gloves and nod at each other, backing up into their corners and start the fight.

(All events appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real events, is purely coincidental)

     Okay. As you can see by my large metaphorical hooplah, I am having a conflict of interests. This year, I have been more exposed to two authors whom I found I have a deep love for.
     Ray Bradbury, who wrote novels such as The Martian Chronicles and Fahrenheit 451. I read TMC back in Freshman year, and I loved it (although I am beginning to think I need to reread it). Everyone I know (save for a few) despised the book, and whenever they asked me why I disliked it, I didn't have a clear answer. But I still liked it a lot. This year, I have read both F451 and another called Marionettes Inc. which is slightly less known. What I have noticed about all his books is that he has a unique way of describing what is going on with so much detail that you can physically see what is happening. When reading his short stories and books, I saw it so vividly that I almost wished to create a movie about it. To those who don't know, I am planning to get some kind of degree in Videography/Broadcasting.
     William Shakespeare on the other hand, is unique in his own way. I've read his plays practically every year I have been in high school (Romeo and Juliet in Freshman year, MacBeth in Junior year, and Hamlet this year) and every time I read a play I realize how much of a genius Shakespeare really was. Despite the slight language barrier, and his clever wit which is buried in the pages of his text (things I have found many people can't stand), I still love him. Maybe it's cause I get him.
     So this is where my dilemna arises (spell check told me that I spelled that word wrong, and I googled it for so long it looks really funky now...). I believe it takes an advanced mind (or a lot of SparkNotes) to get either of these authors. Don't get me wrong, I'm not putting myself above any of you who may not like these authors and I am not saying you have a simple mind, I'm just stating my belief and what I have taken from the observations I have made these last few years. Usually if someone doesn't get something right away, they don't like it and they move on. Fahrenheit 451 is based around this idea. Our fast food society has watered things down so that we get the one thing so we can move on to the next idea without much thought.
     The question really is, who do I feel gives me the most complex thoughts? Is the imagery in Bradbury's books exceptional enough that I would root for him? Or is the wit and tragedy that Shakespeare so brilliantly expresses the reason I might like him better? 
     I can't decide. I'm the referee in the middle of the fight making sure that no one hurts each other in the end. I can't decide between who I think is going to win or who I think I like better. I like them equally the same I suppose.
     Two illustrious authors who I believe will always hold a place in my heart.

(Word Count: 828 words)

The Future Freaks Me Out (Oops. There's Life.)

     Hello friends, it's been a while.
     To Mr. Burge, who by the creeper page views bar I can tell has been checking my blog, I know I haven't updated in a while. Oops. There's life.
     To those who actually take time to read my blog because you feel an obligation to/enjoy my writing/whatever other insane reason you might have for being here, welcome back. I'm getting back into the flow hopefully and will keep writing.
     So this week has been busy, if you'd like to put it that way. My homework schedule was light. I didn't have any plans or obligations. I didn't contract swine flu and start the apocalypse. So... "How was my week busy?" you might ask me.
     In all honesty, it wasn't. I was apathetic all week. I didn't have to actually do anything, so what little work I did get (see: Blog, Calculus Homework, English Homework) I did not have the drive to do. I literally felt like sitting on the couch all day and watching TV (did I mention Season 3 of The Walking Dead came out on Netflix last week? And that Season 4 starts next Sunday?).
     I'm not going to lie to you, senior year has in a way (north by northwest) sucked. Don't get me wrong, I am trying to live it to the fullest; I've overhauled my wardrobe, I've made new friends, I've participated in as many opportunities as I possibly could. But The Future Freaks Me Out. If I could stay at this point infinitely as a senior in high school... trust me, I would.
     That's not the case though. This place that has been my home for four years will be torn down and tossed away. I will move on to other places, forming new connections and evolving as a person. It will never be the same. The carelessness I've had as a teenager will forever be lost. I will need to work hard to get what I want and even harder to actually get there.
     Burge told us in class today almost this same thing (I might have used it slightly as the basis of this post). He's right. I can't keep feeling apathetic like I did last week (I think the term is senioritis). These past four years I have been pushing a boulder up a hill, struggling to get it to the top of that mountain. When January rolls around, the ball is gonna drop (pardon the cliché). I'm gonna have to juggle scholarships and applications and a job and school and everything else that is thrown in there.
     I'm not ready.
     But I'm gonna have to be.
     So here goes. No more apathy. No more skipping homework cause it is more convenient at the time. No more playing video games until three in the morning on a school night cause I felt like it (no this only happened to a friend of mine, don't worry). I am gonna take the bull by the horns and make this year the best it can be, to make my life the best it can be.
     I'm on fire, and now I think I'm ready to bust a move.

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